Jill was 35 when tragedy struck unexpectedly. Her mom, Ann, who had been battling breast cancer, seemed to be on the mend. They were both looking forward to Ann’s upcoming visit to Florida in the fall. However, one Monday afternoon in June, Ann received devastating news—the cancer had spread to her liver. Just five days later, Jill’s world was turned upside down; Ann passed away. This swift and heartbreaking turn of events left Jill grappling with the shock and the fleeting nature of life.
In shock, Jill’s whole world began to move in slow motion. Her body felt like it was being held down by 50 pound weights. Her mind raced through a list of things she should have said to her mom while she was still alive. She continually replayed their last dinner together and felt guilty about not being more present during their conversation. Her work and home life began to suffer.
Jill was experiencing many symptoms of grief. Her friend suggested that she sign up for a local grief support group to help get her through this trying time.
Local Grief Support
No one wants to need a support group.
Sometimes seeking help feels vulnerable, but joining a group can bring you hope and strength to carry on.
Grief is a natural, healthy, and universal emotion that helps us accept loss and begin to heal. It’s the emotional and physical response we have when someone we know dies.
Grief is a deeply personal and complex journey. It’s an intensely personal experience that each of us feels, and deals with, in our own way.
You could experience feelings of shock, loneliness, anger, guilt, confusion, and fear. Physical symptoms like fatigue, shakiness, headaches, and stomach issues may also arise. You might find it challenging to eat, sleep, or concentrate, sometimes feeling as if you’re losing touch with reality.
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It’s especially hard when others seem to be setting artificial time limits for your grief – offering their expectations for when you should have dealt with your pain and moved on.
But the encouraging news is you don’t have to grieve alone.
Grief support in South Jersey is available for you and your loved ones. Understanding and trained professionals are available to guide you through the grieving process.
While your initial instinct may be to cope with the loss on your own, many people find that participating in a grief support group provides a wide range of benefits, including:
Validation: People react to grief in different ways with varied emotional, physical and spiritual responses. Participating in a grief support group can affirm that your responses are normal. It offers the opportunity to gain support from peers who understand your experience intimately.
Emotional respite: Support groups can provide you a break from the loneliness that often accompanies grief. Joining a group allows you the space to voice negative emotions that may be difficult to express to family members who are dealing with their own sorrow. By sharing, you can experience a sense of emotional relief.
Ideas for coping: In the supportive environment of a group led by a professional counselor, you can share your methods for handling different challenges and hear from others who may offer insights and possible solutions to your issues. Remember, your experiences can be as beneficial to another group member as theirs are to you. Helping others can also be a way to help yourself.
Hope: A support group can reinforce your ability to overcome loss, offering hope for the future. It provides fresh insights, revitalizes your strengths, and reignites your enthusiasm for life. Encountering positive role models demonstrates that healing is achievable, helping you honor your loved one’s memory as you progress towards what counselors call “a new normal.”
Many hospice organizations provide local grief support groups for the community, whether one did or did not use the hospice’s services. Funeral homes, hospitals and places of worship also can connect you with grief support groups and other resources. In addition, national grief support organizations have local chapters that host support groups.
Once you find a support group, the next step is the hardest — going the first time. It’s hard for everyone. Try to get past these reasons to skip attending:
- I’m too tired after work.
- I’m nervous about meeting new people.
- I’m afraid I won’t be welcomed.
- I’m anxious about stepping outside my comfort zone.
- I’m shy about telling others about myself.
- What if they ask me to talk?!
A lot of people experience social anxiety, especially since you’re already feeling out of sorts from the loss of your loved one; however, connecting with other people in similar situations has been shown to have healing effects on mind, body, and spirit. It’s worth pushing yourself to give a support group a try.
Remember everyone is there for a specific reason – and in many cases it’s because of a similar experience to yours.
NJ Grief Support Groups
Samaritan offers a wide range of grief support groups in southern N.J. that focus on different types of loss – such as a spouse, child, parent, other relative, friend, or pet. We offer distinct groups for men, women, young adults, preschool-age children, and those affected by suicide. Sessions are available in person at Mount Laurel (Burlington) or through telehealth online groups. For a list of Samaritan support groups, please visit our Support Groups page.
Here are some other resources for grief support:
Option B by Sheryl Sandberg is a New York Times best-selling book. After the unexpected passing of her beloved husband, Facebook COO and bestselling author of Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg, feared that she and her children would never find joy again. Fortunately this fear was unfounded. Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy–co-authored with psychologist and friend Adam Grant–shows you how Sandberg, and many others who have overcome a wide range of profound hardships, triumphed over tragedy.
Grief Works: Stories of Life, Death, and Surviving by Julia Samuel is a profoundly optimistic and compassionate handbook for anyone suffering a loss—from the expected death of a parent to the sudden death of a child or spouse—as well as a guide for those who want to help their grieving loved ones.
Life After Death, On This Side of Heaven by Darcy Thiel is a must-read handbook for anyone struggling with moving forward after a devastating loss. This book follows the journey of the Thiel-Colvin family as they rebuild their lives after losing their husband and father at an early age. Ms. Thiel offers a raw and honest account of the path she and her family have taken through their grief and loss.
I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping, and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One by Brook Noel and Pamela Blair, PhD. Now for these who face the challenges of sudden death, there is a hand to hold, written by two women who have experienced sudden loss. This updated edition of the best-selling bereavement classic will touch, comfort, uplift and console. Authors Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D. explore sudden death and offers a comforting hand to hold for those who are grieving the sudden death of a loved one.
On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler. Ten years after the death of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, this commemorative edition of her final book combines practical wisdom, case studies, and the authors’ own experiences and spiritual insight to explain how the process of grieving helps us live with loss.
More books on grief and loss: https://grief.com/books-on-grief/
Remember, you don’t have to bear your grief alone. Grief support exists to help you through this tough period, enabling you to find new meaning and joy in life even as you continue to cherish the memory of your loved one.